Raising Securely Attached Kids: Using Connection-Focused Parenting to Create Confidence, Empathy, and Resilience (Parenting Book Series)
Original price was: $19.95.$14.81Current price is: $14.81.
A USA TODAY BESTSELLER
*Winner of the Child Psychology Award for Literary Excellence*
“A comprehensive roadmap for parents who want to raise securely attached, emotionally healthy children. A parenting must-read.” —Alyssa Blask Campbell, M.Ed., author of Tiny Humans, Big Emotions
“Eli Harwood teaches the essentials of attachment, which can help parents ‘show up’ in ways that enable our children to become securely attached to us.” —Daniel J. Siegel, M.D., New York Times bestselling co-author of The Whole-Brain Child
Learn how to create a lifetime of connection, trust, and open communication with your children through connection-focused parenting.
Though there have been countless studies on how attachment styles affect our romantic relationships, Raising Securely Attached Kids is the first book to reframe the subject for caregivers and children.
Licensed therapist and highly sought-after attachment research expert Eli Harwood illuminates the science that explores our innate human need to bond with other humans, and helps us harness it as the only parenting approach proven to have a lasting impact. Her loyal following—fast approaching the millions—connects to Eli’s accessible approach that helps everyone form secure and close relationships with their kids, which helps them develop resilience, confidence, and form close relationships in the future.
“Eli Harwood brings infectious-fun energy, vulnerability, and fresh perspectives without shaming or blaming. Not only is Raising Securely Attached Kids a practical and actionable guide, it’s grounded in science and entertaining to read.” —Hilary Swank, actress, storyteller, mom of twins
Hopeful and inspiring, this essential evidence-based guide shows parents, educators, and anyone with children in their lives that they are not alone in the questions and concerns they may have about raising confident, capable, and caring kids.
Covering every parenting era from newborns to adults, Raising Securely Attached Kids teaches simple, real-life strategies that will help you:
Move past old patterns from your childhood to become the parent or caregiver you yearn to be—no matter what you went through growing upResolve past attachment traumas so you can offer a calm, connected, and secure baseCreate a secure attachment relationship with your kids by choosing connection over controlBuild and reinforce a strong foundation of trust with scripts and practical toolsUnderstand that it’s never too late to create a stronger bond with your children
From the Publisher
ASIN : B0CPDP7DT5
Publisher : Sasquatch Books
Publication date : September 3, 2024
Language : English
Print length : 288 pages
ISBN-10 : 1632175460
ISBN-13 : 978-1632175465
Item Weight : 11.4 ounces
Dimensions : 5.48 x 0.75 x 7.99 inches
Part of series : Parenting
Best Sellers Rank: #10,184 in Books (See Top 100 in Books) #3 in School-Age Children Parenting #22 in Motherhood (Books) #54 in Sociology Reference
Customer Reviews: 4.8 4.8 out of 5 stars 418 ratings var dpAcrHasRegisteredArcLinkClickAction; P.when(‘A’, ‘ready’).execute(function(A) { if (dpAcrHasRegisteredArcLinkClickAction !== true) { dpAcrHasRegisteredArcLinkClickAction = true; A.declarative( ‘acrLink-click-metrics’, ‘click’, { “allowLinkDefault”: true }, function (event) { if (window.ue) { ue.count(“acrLinkClickCount”, (ue.count(“acrLinkClickCount”) || 0) + 1); } } ); } }); P.when(‘A’, ‘cf’).execute(function(A) { A.declarative(‘acrStarsLink-click-metrics’, ‘click’, { “allowLinkDefault” : true }, function(event){ if(window.ue) { ue.count(“acrStarsLinkWithPopoverClickCount”, (ue.count(“acrStarsLinkWithPopoverClickCount”) || 0) + 1); } }); });
Beka Deja –
You need this book.
Raising Securely Attached Kids is hands down the parenting roadmap every parent needs in their life. This book is pure gold from cover to cover! Every single page is packed with valuable insights, backed by research, wisdom, and the personal experiences of Eli. It’s rare to find a book that so effortlessly balances practical parenting advice with laugh-out-loud moments, but this one does it with ease. The guidance here isn’t just useful—it’s transformative, and it speaks to parents at every stage.What makes it truly special is the blend of heart and humor, which makes even the most challenging aspects of parenting feel approachable. This book offers clear, thoughtful strategies to help raise emotionally secure, resilient children.I can already tell this will be a book I return to time and time again. It’s not just a read—it’s a reference for life. And, without a doubt, I’ll be gifting this to every parent I know. It’s that good. Seriously, if you’re a parent, you need this book in your hands!
H. L. Nordberg –
How to show up for your kids and with your kids
Raising Securely Attached Kids is, hands down, the best parenting book I’ve ever read.Harwood powerfully articulates how, in terms of parenting styles, both sides of the pervasive cultural binary – *authoritarian* (dominating, controlling) vs. *permissive* (placating, indulgent) – are destructive to growing minds and bodies. A simple scan of social media illustrates how deep the feelings run on these topics. She organizes these and other modes (like the *neglectful*) into illuminating contrasts under topics like structure, nurture, coping patterns, self-esteem, and outcomes.Teasing apart still-operational assumptions, she focuses on research-supported methods of connection and relationship from the perspective of attachment styles. She outlines how secure attachment fosters resilience, growth, empathy, and the kind of self-understanding that enables kids to make authentic changes to their behaviors as they grow.One thing that really stood out to me was the priority order of suggested action sequences. I had that magic reading experience of “click – ah, of course!” Calm bodies (co-regulating and connecting) are needed before conversation. Active listening is needed before responding. Investigating and learning together are needed before attempting to repair. Deep breaths might be needed before anything else.I’m a fast reader, usually, but I found that it was more rewarding for me to read a couple of chapters at a time, and to let them bounce around for a few days before continuing. Concrete examples and creative vocabulary personalize the content, making the book accessible, relatable, and sometimes even playful. I kept lingering on things like co-regulation and cooperation and different kinds of structure.Personally, I would have loved even more of the sidebar “Nerd Alerts” (this despite the fact that when I looked up the “Still Face” Experiment, it triggered nightmares). So I felt especially nerd-rewarded by the brilliant handling of the endnotes of the book. Organized by chapter and page, the specific phrase or sentence is quoted and set in bold, with the source listed. Reinforcement – and review – and source, all at once. Beautiful! I hope this method catches on. In addition, if you want to find a specific bit of text again, there’s an easily-scannable index of keywords.The enormous amount of reading I did before and during parenting only really gifted me the mantra of “pay close attention to the child to learn what they need” and the understanding that while no-one can be “perfect” at parenting, being “good enough” is a realistic goal. The focus on reliable connection and attunement with my son might have grown even sturdier (especially in those teen years) with more of Harwood’s tips, scripts, and caring insights in the toolbox, but it’s never really too late to keep evolving together in relationship!
Stephanie S. –
Practical advice based on rock solid research
I’ve followed the author, Eli Harwood, on social media for years now. I am a mental health therapist and have consistently found Eli to be particularly skilled at taking high level psychological theory and translating it to approachable, actionable steps. This book captures that skill so beautifully.Throughout this book Eli outlines the extensive research into human attachment and how it is the bedrock for every other form of healthy development. She lays out ways to grow secure attachment with your child, regardless of their age. She writes in the voice of your closest friend or most trusted therapist (I suspect because this is just the type of person Eli authentically is). Her information is presented with the very clear belief that we are all capable of growing into our best selves and that we can provide secure attachment for our children. This book is warmest invitation and I sank right into it. Even being trained in a similar model of mental health counseling, I learned and re-learned information from Eli’s research and summaries; there were many times I hadn’t thought of something a certain way or came across a new connection. Whether you’re new to attachment theory or an old pro, there’s something in here for you.I can’t recommend it enough. Buy this book! For the benefits for your current self, and for your children, and for your sweetheart, and for the cashier at the grocery store, and for your inner child. The ripples travel far with this one.Thank you, Eli, for this gift to all of us doing our best to raise securely attached children, especially those of us who are breaking generational cycles to do so. You have truly done lasting good in the world by sharing your insights and I’m so grateful.
Aleisha –
A must read for all parents!
Eli’s book brings to life the research on attachment in a practical, playful, and clear way. I am a therapist and have been practicing for 16+ years, and this is a book that I have already recommended to so many of the parents I work with and will continue to do so. I also find it immensely helpful in my own parenting journey, navigating the chaos and joy that is raising small humans. Eli has done a beautiful job organizing the chapters in a way that is easy-to-find information for busy parents, but also allows for a deep dive for those who are interested in doing so. This book is for those who are parenting children at any age and are wishing to create a deep, meaningful, life-long bond with their children. I highly recommend!
Elitsa –
Absolutely informative and amazing self repairing guide. I appreciate all that hard and from heart work of Ely! Thank you! Highly recommended!
Enela Rodríguez –
It’s simply great! Every parent should read this book. Well written and full of knowledge about attachment. I’m so happy to have found it!
L.H –
Lots to think about after reading it ❤️❤️❤️ I enjoyed reading every page. Definitely this book deserves to be passed on and read again and again. Thank you 🙏
Taylore –
If you only read one book ever again- let it be this one. I think this book could save the world and I wish I could afford to buy everyone I know a copy. It’s obviously targeted toward parents but anyone who interacts with children or who has ever been a child (!!) would benefit from the knowledge held within these pages. Attachment science is backed by all of modern neuroscience and we know how important it is to development but also to human interaction as a whole and Eli Harwood makes it accessible, understandable, and personal. If every parent, grandparent, aunt/uncle, teacher, daycare worker, and caregiver read this book I honestly believe we could shift the entire course of humanity for the better.The way she uses language to omit any blame or shame while teaching so clearly and succinctly feels healing in itself. While reading this, I felt like I was in conversation with a friend. Having secure attachment is a lifelong need of every person and she helps me see myself as both a child and a parent and instructs in an empathetic and empowering way, how to heal those places that are in need of healing so we can be better parents, spouses, and friends. I am learning through the science of attachment how to be a better human and connect more meaningfully to every other human with whom I engage.Disclaimer: I cried several times while reading this and you might too!
andrej herber –
Love it!!!