Managing Your Households Well: How Family Leadership Trains You for Church Leadership
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Men who serve the church well are men who have learned how to lead their own families with wisdom and skill. Bettis considers practical lessons from household management and debunks misconceptions.
From the Publisher
God has given you a family to help you develop leadership skills and relational wisdom. And he has given you a family to display your leadership skills and relational wisdom. This short, practical book gleans church leadership lessons from household management and debunks misconceptions regarding the spiritual state of a leader’s children.
Endorsers
Tim Challies, Blogger
“A good and much-needed book on a subject that, though clearly laid out in Scripture, has been too often neglected and overlooked. Every pastor or prospective pastor will benefit from reading and considering it.”
Barnabas Piper, Pastor, Immanuel Church, Nashville
“Bettis offers accessible and attainable instruction from Scripture but not a low bar. He honors the nobility of pastoring and fathering and builds up the reader. The link between faithful shepherding in the home and in the church is logical, personal, and biblical.”
Brian Croft, Executive Director, Practical Shepherding
“A clear, careful, biblical, and balanced resource. The chapters that address, with charity and grace, the behavior of the pastor’s children are worth the price of the book alone.”
Part 1: Theological Foundations
1. Managing Your Household Well
2. Keeping Your Children Submissive with All Dignity
3. Faithful, Not Wild
4. Above Reproach
Part 2: Leadership Lessons for Home and Church
5. Learning to Lead and Oversee
6. Learning to Communicate
7. Learning to Lead in Conflict
8. Learning Character Lessons
Conclusion
Appendix A: What Is Leadership?
Appendix B: Self- Evaluation
Appendix C: A Wife’s Evaluation
Recommended Resources
ASIN : B0DMXTHGZR
Publisher : P&R Publishing
Publication date : May 28, 2025
Language : English
Print length : 160 pages
ISBN-13 : 979-8887790503
Item Weight : 8.1 ounces
Dimensions : 5.62 x 0.18 x 8.45 inches
Best Sellers Rank: #125,585 in Books (See Top 100 in Books) #368 in Christian Family & Relationships
Customer Reviews: 5.0 5.0 out of 5 stars 32 ratings var dpAcrHasRegisteredArcLinkClickAction; P.when(‘A’, ‘ready’).execute(function(A) { if (dpAcrHasRegisteredArcLinkClickAction !== true) { dpAcrHasRegisteredArcLinkClickAction = true; A.declarative( ‘acrLink-click-metrics’, ‘click’, { “allowLinkDefault”: true }, function (event) { if (window.ue) { ue.count(“acrLinkClickCount”, (ue.count(“acrLinkClickCount”) || 0) + 1); } } ); } }); P.when(‘A’, ‘cf’).execute(function(A) { A.declarative(‘acrStarsLink-click-metrics’, ‘click’, { “allowLinkDefault” : true }, function(event){ if(window.ue) { ue.count(“acrStarsLinkWithPopoverClickCount”, (ue.count(“acrStarsLinkWithPopoverClickCount”) || 0) + 1); } }); });
S.P. –
So Spiritually and Practically Helpful
As a seminary student aspiring to pastoral ministry and a father of two young kids this book has been beyond valuable for me. As I read these foundational and clearly-stated truths I find myself more motived both in my home and in ministry. They feed off each other in a good way. Just this week I found something I had read in this book helping me to be a better leader in a tough situation in my home. A couple of weeks after reading it I found myself realizing that a seemingly small parenting task that I didn’t want to do actually had big implications for who I am as a leader. This book has sunk into my life without me even knowing it. It is well-written and easy to read and hits on a topic that is often overlooked, to the hurt of both our families and our churches.
Aaron –
Helpful for pastors and aspiring pastors!
I thoroughly enjoyed this book. It is quite accessible with really helpful information but still stays around the 100 page mark (a great length for a normal person to be able to read and stay engaged with). I am 10 years into marriage, 5.5 years into pastoring, and 5.5 years into being a dad. The book was personally challenging as I think about the great gift of my family as ones who help me develop and display my leadership and shepherding wisdom (xiv). I love the exegesis of key passages in 1 Timothy 3 and Titus 1, especially as I think about how I help my 3 small kids grow to be “faithful, not wild.” I appreciated how Bettis helpfully clarifies and caveats what is and is not required of children of pastors. The household is such a great training ground for the pastorate. I love getting to be a dad. I love getting to pastor. What a joy to have a helpful book that provides clarity and vision for both. I highly recommend the book to pastors and aspiring pastors who want to lead and shepherd their families and their churches well.
Alexandra –
Motivating and clarifying
This book does a great job of describing the biblical principles of managing your household well as well as motivating you to live up to them and grow as a leader in the home and in ministry. Chap’s insight helps make clear that family leadership and ministry leadership are not separate. The book is full of helpful ways to grow in this area and continue to make our progress evident. 10/10 would recommend
Thomas H. –
Required Reading for Husbands, Dads, and Church Leaders
Chap’s book is timely, practical and Biblical. It addresses a needed exhortation for church leaders that learning to be a godly and wise shepherd is uniquely learned and crafted within the framework of the home and family. The home is the training ground for the pastor and can teach the leadership skills needed to lead their church well. The local church will be blessed and benefit from the pastor and shepherd who has learned to manage his household well. I would recommend this book not only to pastors and those who lead within the church, but also to any husband and father.
Cal Stack –
Great book for those who desire to be faithful leaders in their homes
This is a helpful, accessible look at an underappreciated elder qualification. It’s been encouraging to use it in our church with a group of men (only some of whom even aspire to the office of elder) who all want to manage their households well. It’s prompted great discussion on the importance of relational wisdom, the idea that the home is both a testing AND training ground, and what good authority is.
ginalee –
Fantastic Biblical wisdom for leadership
Excellent Biblically based instructions for parenting. Men and women can benefit greatly by putting the principals outlined into practice. Children will benefit greatly as well! This book sums up well the living wisdom I’ve gained through parenting 6 children over the past two decades, with God’s guidance.
Chae An (NHF) –
Excellent book for individuals and for training future elders
This new book by Bettis is a very needed book, to help Christian men to lead their family well, and to clearly see the direct linkage of leading your household with leading the church. I very much appreciate Chap’s biblical wisdom as well as his practical experiences, both in leading his home as well as having pastored a church for many years. I’ve been recommending this book to many men at our church and hope to use it in training up future elders at our church.
Dave C –
Wise content that speaks into a specific and relevant issue
There are many excellent books focused on church leadership and others devoted to household leadership—but this is the only one I know of that bridges the gap between the two. The subtitle, How Family Leadership Trains You for Church Leadership, captures the heart of the book perfectly. The author delivers on that promise in a way that is both persuasive and practical. I am reading it with fifteen men from our church and finding it well worth the time.
olukunle gbenga –
Short and precise, simple to comprehend and execute. This book recommended to every parent.